I've been writing here since December 2005 - almost 6 years!  Initially this was just a journal for me, and I kept it semi-private.  But the past few years, I've been writing more and more, both in publications like the Burnside Writers Collective, guest blogs or columns picked up by others, and in professional journals.  


I have a voice on a variety of topics, but I lack the consistency to keep it moving, and to develop a committed audience.  I want to branch out my writing into a professional topics of libraries and technology, but I'm struggling to balance all of the projects and committees and meetings that take up more than the time I have available.  And frankly, I'm often too lazy to get up earlier in the morning.


But the time has come for me to get my blogging mojo back, and I have an excellent resource to help me.  Bryan Allain has published an eBook called 31 Days to Finding your Blogging Mojo.  It's clear and concise with suggested exercises that not only don't take a lot of time, but gives you immediate and critical feedback on your blog, your audience, and your concepts, and your perspective.  My plan is to dedicate the month of October and follow through all 31 days in the month, but I've already read the book, and I know it will benefit me immensely.  It will help you, too.


And it's really, really funny.

I was thrilled when Rachel Held Evans asked me to guest post for her. If you haven't read it yet, check it out here. If you are new here, drop a comment and say hi.

Changes are coming here, with hopefully more consistent posting. The site template has already started to change, but keep checking in...

I've returned to reading Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices by Brian McLaren not only because I owe Thomas Nelson Publishing a review, but because I'm yet again in a phase of transition within my faith journey. I'm on Chapter 12 ("Communal Practices") now, and I will get back to blogging my answers to the questions at the end of each chapter, but while reading this chapter, I immediately got out of bed to write through some of these thoughts. Later this week, I will be guest blogging for Rachel Held Evans on my visit to a faith community very different than ones I've belonged to, but for now, I want to work through some points and excerpts from this chapter that quickly engaged with my mind and spirit.

First off, I'm finding it difficult to engage in formal Christian community these days. These are my own problems and not the fault of my or any other church, but at least within my church there is an on-going seismic event that has had more subtle effects than I think people I expected. I am evaluating in what ways I need to participate within this, but McLaren discusses worship in a way that I find intriguing for, if not convicting of, my thought process:

Singing is so familiar in our churches that I fear we are missing what a miracle it is. First, singing involves our bodies.... Second, it involves our souls.... Third, it involves a text, sometimes (though too rarely) a beautiful poetic lyric. Fourth, it involves a score, sometimes (again, too rarely) a beautiful artistic score. Fifth, that score engages instruments.... Sixth, it often involves parts.... And finally, [singing] involves other people - many voices, one song. Think of it: bodies and souls, people and instruments, texts and notes, men and women and children, Republicans and Democrats, liberals and conservatives somehow coming together in the miracle of a song or hymn. Figuratively as literally, songs harmonize us, which is why they are such important communal spiritual practices. (pp. 105-106)

No matter what I believe on a particular issue, no matter where I stand in a conflict of justice, worship - and in particular singing communally - is the opportunity to join in unity through expressing worship to God. Whether that is true unity, or not, is a different story, but it is certainly the opportunity, and the onus is on me to participate, or not.

But I fall short of this, yet my growing suspicions and discomfort of the typical American church is not a sufficient excuse to recluse myself of the community of faith, especially as I desire to participate in a more diverse community of faith within and beyond the local church I have chosen to participate. Along those lines, McLaren provides this insight:

As well, songs (like acts of romantic affection) simultaneously express and intensify emotion. Sadly, the singing in some of our churches expresses a range of emotion that runs from B to C (bored to complacent), but the Bible takes us from A (angry) to F (fervent) to J (joyful) to L (lamenting) to N (nostalgic) to R (restful) to X (er, exalted) to Z (zealous). I'm glad to report that people are beginning to notice the narrow range of songs used in so many of our churches, whether they be "traditional" or "contemporary" or "blended," and even better, they're starting to write new songs that more fully explore and express the spiritual life in both content and emotion. (p. 106)

Here's the moment of truth: do I really want a diverse worship experience that can or does go from anger to fervency to joy to lamentation to nostalgia to rest to exaltation to zealousness? At first blush that would be an emotionally exhausting experience, but what about over the range of a month or a liturgical season, or the entire liturgical year? Usually I want to rush to joy and nostalgia in worship, but is my soul nourished by ignoring the anger I am holding securely and privately? Can we be a diverse community of faith if we don't allow room to share our complaints to God around each other, or describe what drives our fervent energy, yet give room for those seeking people rest?

If I'm honest, I still want to be surrounded by like-minded, like-feeling, and like-expressing people if there is any chance I would put myself in a position of vulnerability. But that leaves little room for the miracle of the communal practice described above. So where does this discussion lead? Find a community attempting to approach communal practices by actively seeking this miracle or be an advocate of change within the community I am in now?

Am I sincerely willing to do either?

I've returned to a house I haven't been to in two years, and even then I only spent one week. It's odd how familiar something can be despite the brief time spent and the long time away.

But the differences already shine bright. My son is walking and talking, and he did neither two years ago. We walked on the beach together, chasing some baby seagulls, and then dipped our feet in the ocean. My daughter danced and leaped over waves with her cousin with the fullness of joy beaming in her face and smile. My wife and I shared the humbling awareness of how fast she will grow up.

I'm ready for this week, to learn and experience new things as a parent, husband, and relative to the others sharing this house. I can't wait to jump on our bikes and ride together, to explore this island on my own, and to drink in deep the view of our kids playing and laughing and living fully.

A couple weeks ago, I had time away with my wife that we both desperately needed. This week is definitely one for the family. Time for some fun.

This weekend my church held a Town Hall meeting to discuss the recent changes to the PC(USA) constitution and Book of Order on ordination and process of government. The majority of the comments were about the issue of ordaining open gay/lesbian ministers who are active outside of marriage, which was previously defined by PC(USA) as between one man and one woman. Some expanded their concern to a loosening of boundaries for all sexual behavior, in that technically speaking an unmarried, but sexually active, heterosexual could be ordained. While possible, I interpreted those comments mostly as wanting to stay away from seeming homophobic. But if we were really going to discuss that topic, we should open a bigger discussion on how poorly the church converses about relationships and sexuality in the first place.

I prepared some thoughts for the Town Hall that I believe there are three bigger issues that our local church should consider before we respond in word or action to this new situation. The following is what I submitted in writing for the record to the Clerk of Session.

I want to preface the "big picture" issues I mentioned at the Town Hall with this context. I see this decision by our denomination to be a larger opportunity and challenge than simply dealing with the changes of ordination and absence of guidelines and accountability for sexual behavior. Just as important, there are published studies and surveys by polling groups, such as Pew and Barna, that indicate my generation (Gex X) and the next generation (Millennials) are not willing to draw the same lines in the sand on issues of hot button issues, such as same-sex marriage, abortion, war, and others.* The trends indicate more neutral or central stances of what previous generations have battled for or against for the purpose of encouraging open discussion, transparency, and civil communication. Surveys have shown these generations are spiritually more comfortable with questions that have no easy answers, more open to expressing doubt, and more interested in communities that have a diverse points of view. I find these trends to be relatively true in my circle of friends, and as an independent, centralist-minded person, I myself concur.

In this context, I believe the challenges of this constitutional change are bigger than the change in ordination standards. The opportunity, then, is for us to examine these issues as we decide how to continue to participate in PC(USA). I hope that the leadership at FPC-Bethlehem will approach the future by examining these three areas:

• Tradition vs Faith
• Hierarchy vs Community
• Self Survival vs Investment

Tradition vs Faith - By definition, tradition is humanly created, defined, and interpreted. It is created by someone and followed by others within the customs or beliefs passed down through generations. Traditions, however, do not define God nor our faith in God, but rather are derived by our fallible interpretations, senses, and beliefs in what has been held to be true in the past. Much of the foundations of our denomination are indeed built on tradition. The opportunity before us is to live out our faith in God, not in our traditions. We must identify specifically those things we hold closely or push aside as tradition and those things we live out in faith. We must declare that our God is great, is just, and loves overwhelmingly, and we will journey together toward our God.

Therefore, the question I raise to our leadership is this: Are the actions you propose for our future as a congregation lie in traditions you hope to preserve or in faith you hope to live in?

Hierarchy vs Community - One definition of hierarchy is "a system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority." Much of what we read and interpret from the gospels is Jesus overthrowing the hierarchies the Jewish leaders created for themselves to separate both themselves and God from the common people. Jesus, as God himself, flattened this hierarchical separation and, moreover, turned the whole idea upside down. Jesus humbled himself and lifted everyone up over himself, the chief of the kingdom at the very bottom of the chain. He defined leadership not as authority over others but as servants under and within the community.

I commend our pastoral team for living this example out, consistently resisting the temptation to lead over us as a congregation, but instead living and serving within and alongside the congregation. I believe the greatest failure of the western Church is the CEO/Board-like nature pastors and elders have tried to lead churches, and I am thankful this has not been the case at FPC-Bethlehem. The process and setup of ordination does have the taste of elevating a person over a community, and, indeed, communities of believers often give in to the temptation to allow pastors to lead over them rather than participating with these leaders to invest in their community together. But we have wonderful examples of first-century communities who lived in community together, wholly dependent on each other. They had little-to-no knowledge of the New Testament, other than a letter actually addressed to them. But they invested in the community together and moved together, right or wrong. Sometimes they had to be corrected, and other times they were commended. I hope that we can live out community similarly.

The question I raise to our leadership is this: Are the actions you propose for our future as a congregation based on preserving the hierarchical requirements of authority of a few over many or through a vision of how we, as a congregation, can live within these new definitions as a community of FPC and within the larger community that is PC(USA)?

Self Survival vs Investment - I believe there is nothing more shocking in the gospel than Jesus declaring in order to save your life we have to lose it. There is little, if any, scripture that can be used to justify a position of self survival. Nearly everything in the gospels prescribes living beyond our definitions of generosity in money, love, service, and forgiveness while removing all traces of judgment, violence, hate, exclusivity, prejudice. And yet our American culture, politics, and economics pushes us into self-survival mode that contradicts the gospel. I fall terribly short in my attempts to be generous in these areas.

But in a time of uncertainty as this situation brings, it would be tempting as a church for us to focus on self survival rather than continuing to invest in our congregation, our communities in the Lehigh Valley, around the country, and the world. If we are to live out the gospel, living in our experience of God's overwhelming love for us, then we need to fight against this temptation to simply focus on self survival.

The question I raise to our leadership is this: Are the actions you propose for our future as a congregation focused simply on surviving as a church, neglecting our neighbors, our sister churches in the Lehigh Valley, our sister churches in PC(USA), or focused in continuing to invest in our communities, our sister churches, and the world around us? Are we running away from relationships that are now difficult, or are we becoming more generous in our love, service, forgiveness, and financial support? Are we taking positions of judgment, exclusivity, and prejudice or taking positions of openness, inclusiveness, and welcoming? Finally, are we stubbornly resisting conversation and discussion of difficult topics, or are we admitting our questions to which we have no answers, being transparent in our doubts to our community and denomination, and being open to discussion, disagreement, and commitment to continuing relationships?

I believe this situation is an opportunity for us to invest deeper in our congregation, our communities, and in the denomination. I believe it is a challenge worth embracing, a challenge to live within our faith in God to lead us closer to himself, and to show others just how great that love is.

*References

• Generation X and Work/Life Issues, Sloan Work and Family Research Network, Boston College, Volume 7(2) February 2005 http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/The.../08/The_Network_News_Interview08.pdf
• Sandfort, Melissa A. and Haworth, Jennifer G. "Whassup? A Glimpse Into the Attitudes and Beliefs of a Millenial Generation" Journal of College and Character 3(3): 2002
• "Young Adults and Liberals Struggle with Morality" http://www.barna.org/teens-next-gen-articles/25-young-adults-and-liberals-struggle-with-morality August 25, 2008
• "Americans Describe Their Moral and Social Concerns, Including Abortion and Homosexuality" http://www.barna.org/culture-articles/50-americans-describe-their-moral-and-social-concerns-including-abortion-and-homosexuality January 21, 2008
• "The Millennials: Confident. Connected. Open to Change." http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1501/millennials-new-survey-generational-personality-upbeat-open-new-ideas-technology-bound February, 24, 2010
• "The Millenials" http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1437/millennials-profile January 11, 2009
• "The Progressive Politics of the Millennial Generation" http://www.newpolitics.net/node/360?full_report=1 June 20, 2007
• "A New Generation Expresses its Skepticism and Frustration with Christianity" September 24, 2007 http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/16-teensnext-gen/94-a-new-generation-expresses-its-skepticism-and-frustration-with-christianity?q=generation
• The Pew Research on Millenials http://pewresearch.org/millennials/

So Rachel Held Evans has initiated a week-long online rally called "Restore Unity". I was re-tweeting her announcements and other people's reactions as much as I could, thinking about what in the world this might look like next week, and how I could help.

Since then, two major events have occurred that are personal to me. On Friday, the church I attend sent an email describing two major denominational votes that are trending toward passing local presbytery votes, and will, for all intents and purposes, divide the Presbyterian Church (USA) forever. My position on these votes isn't relevant to the future of the denomination, but I do feel the weight on how my voice and actions will be perceived by others during this process.

The second event was the announcement about Osama bin Laden being killed by a US military operation. The tragedies of 9/11 are personal to me because it directly affected people close to me, and many more I've had the privilege of becoming friends with. My initial reaction was simply shock, but my mind immediately went to what is the appropriate response, which I tweeted.

It was made clear through the next hour that not many had common reactions to bin Laden's death. I'm certain that while reactions to the PC(USA) decisions will have more commonalities, the nuances everyone affected will be coming from will be very diverse, yet easily (and inappropriately) generalized. I wonder how unity can prevail in either situation. I share much of Matthew Paul Turner's sentiments.

At this moment, however, I believe our diversity of thought, philosophy, and even reactions, can indeed make us stronger. And that strength is what we need to build unity. It does require being less individually so we can be strong collectively. Can we do it? I sure hope we can.

In the spirit of the Restore Unity Rally, here is my first sign slogan:

I don't THINK you THINK that we THINK the same things.
But I THINK that makes us even stronger. Don't you THINK?
#RestoreUnity

Spiritual Exercises from Chapter 4: "Practicing the Way of Jesus" from Finding Our Way Again by Brian McLaren.

1) To what degree would you describe yourself as a "Jesus-y" person? What is the story behind your answer?

I think it might be easier to talk about the story behind my answer rather than my answer. What a cop-out, and un-Jesus-y thing to do, eh? In truth, or reality, I am a Jesus-y person in ways that I do not care about being religious in my faith, yet I am not a Jesus-y person because I lack the discipline to be faithful. This is why I'm reading this book in the first place, yet failing to be consistent about it.

When I interact with people, I truly do care to listen to them, to not judge, to give them freedom and room to be themselves, to be hospitable, to be welcoming, neighborly, etc. Do I fail at this? Of course, but I honestly believe the majority of the time I live these out.

Within the religious parts of my faith, going to church services, etc, I more or less tolerate the process. It doesn't fill me, it doesn't sustain me, sometimes it drains me, and other times I'd rather be anywhere but there. Sometimes it does charge me, sometimes it does get me through another week, but not often enough that I don't dream of something new and different. My story has a lot to do with this. I grew up fundamentalist baptist, and I don't wish to dredge up memories. But as I warmly received this encouragement from the last chapter of Rob Bell's book Love Wins, I cannot count that history as false or not from God. It is part of my story, but only part.

2) Reflect of three important metaphors used by Jesus: kingdom, yoke, path. Talk about them in your own words. Explore what they evoke for you, what they challenge you to be and do, and how they speak to you in your life situation today.

Kingdom - This is a big deal for me because about 3 or so years ago, I made a conscious decision to register politically as independent, and sought a centrist/moderate position of most, if not all, policies. I did this not to be apathetic to the kingdom of the United States, but to remove any allegiances from the political parties that try to control that kingdom. I don't serve or align with this kingdom, and it is important for me to align solely in the Kingdom of God, which is not a kingdom of power over people, but a kingdom of love for people, all people. My responsibility within this Kingdom is to love all as God loves me, not seeking to persuade them to think or believe that I am right, but to show them love as purely as I can.

Yoke - this is not a big deal to me, though I suspect it should be. I do not feel burdened, either heavily or lightly, by my following of Jesus, nor to I feel a sense of urgency. I do not quite know what to do with this metaphor any more. I used to think of it as a rescuing from my life, but in fact, I find that I don't really need rescuing from it as much as I need to be more intentional within my life.

Path - I liken this to its synonym of journey, that following Jesus is a process, not a destination, and that little by little, I'll learn more about God's love and how to share it. I also think this is an earthly process, rather than simply a process to get to the afterlife. If it is really just for the afterlife, then what a waste of good amount of time to love now.

3) The author contrasts Christianity as an institution on the one hand with being disciples and being part of a movement on the other. How do you respond to this contrast? What do you think would happen if the institutions of Christianity became more focused on forming disciples and supporting a movement?

I am wholeheartedly against following or contributing to the institution of Christianity. I don't appreciate the business-like manner churches confine themselves as, nor do I think it reflects on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. If our institutions became focused on forming disciples and supporting a movement, I think we would be seen as more dangerous initially, but much, much, much more productive in solving problems around the world. We would focus on need rather than power, love rather than theological position, person rather than identity.

4) As an experiment, try avoiding the words Christian and Christianity for the next week or month or year. Instead, use the terms follower (or disciple) of Christ and the movement Jesus started. How would this change in terminology affect you? What problems would it cause? What insights might it produce?

I think I use these terms mostly now. I generally use Christianity more as a term I don't really identify with, or at least try to distance myself from. I think being more intentional about it would separate me more. Would it really cause problems? Probably a little, especially if I were to be seen as anti-authority. It would also make things a little more complicated while trying to re-translate Sunday School lessons with my kids. As for insights, I honestly don't know.

5) Talk to God about Jesus, your feelings about him, your beliefs and questions, your commitment, your appreciation.

God, I'm thankful for Jesus, for how you and he are intertwined. I'm confused about how you work within the trinity, what is really the holy spirit and what is just my conscience. I believe you are true and truth, that your love is greater than any understanding of love I will ever have. I believe you love everyone in this world, and made us diverse to learn more about your love rather than how we use it to separate ourselves. I question the Bible often, how you seem to be so angry, murderous, inconsistent, and a segregationist within the OT, but how you are changed in the NT. I believe that the Bible is human, but your Word, which is greater than the Bible is not. I don't believe I need to figure out anything about how you work other than trying to love others as best as I can, and follow what I believe you are leading me in anything I do.