Spiritual Exercises from Chapter 3: "The Genesis of Practice" from Finding Our Way Again by Brian McLaren.

1. Ponder the significance of Abraham as the patriarch of our planet's three great monotheistic faiths. Think of (or find) a friend of the other two Abrahamic faiths. Seek them out. Tell them about this chapter, and ask them about the role of significance of Abraham in their faith. Don't argue. Simply listen, learn, and seek to build common ground based on this shared source of inspiration.

This one is difficult for me because I don't have close friends anymore from the other two faiths. And to be quite honest, I don't find hold much significance to Abraham as maybe I should be based on this chapter. Without a doubt, though, I imagine that I would find some of that inspiration if I were able to have a meaningful conversation with a practice Muslim or Jew.

2. Go over the seven Abrahamic practices and notice how the author derives them from the biblical story. Then reflect of your experiences with each of these practices.

Pilgrimage - the closest thing I have to pilgrimage is my experiences going to chapter camp of InterVarsity when I was in college. This was an intensive week of community and inductive study, usually the gospel of Mark. It was raw, stretching, and that mountaintop experience with God we usually crave. As an post-college adult, I haven't had that pilgrimage experience in the same way. I went to a men's retreat once (coincidentally at the same location as college camp conference) but the entire weekend experience soured me to the core. I have never wanted to return to that experience, not really even giving it a second thought. The experience was the exact opposite I had in college, immature, irreverent, and insensitive, which is ironic because I would have expected that more in college.

Fasting - the only fasts I have ever done is for medical reasons. I don't have a spiritual concept or connection to fasting and God. Maybe I should take this one on somehow.

Sacred Meal - this one takes on a number of meanings to me. Within the framework of Communion at church, it is shaped more as a personal connecting time rather than a community meal, which I found odd. I think this is a breakdown of our western, individualized system of believing. But over the past two years, I've found that our small group meals on alternating Fridays has become the sacred meal for me. This time is sacred, and both Andrea and I protect it carefully. It's a chance for the 8 of us to dine together around one table and share in each others lives. It's open, it's not forced, it's community.

Common Prayer - this one is definitely one I want to explore more. Prayer for me is merely non-existent in the traditional sense. I lack any prayer discipline, and I've tired of the popcorn prayer scenario in groups. What I would like to do is pray through the psalms and common prayers to discover this discipline. I'll be interested in how McLaren describes this later in the book.

Giving - isn't this a sore subject for everyone? Despite that, we cheerfully give to two organizations outside of our church, though not at a percentage recognizable in the OT. Neither Andrea or I have a strong commitment to give our money to a wealth church without a strong direction. (Though this year we did feel a strong direction towards one particular project.) Instead, we decided to focus our giving to the poorest of the poor. Both are listed on the right side of this blog - Cross International and Blood:Water Mission.

Sabbath - if I need to return to any practice, Sabbath is the one. I take this so lightly, but I've seen over the past 6 plus months just how little rest I give myself. Whether suffering through migraines, overloaded by stress of work or raising two young children, or simply not following through with my creative interests (playing piano/guitar, writing music, writing words), I need to find a Sabbath ritual that brings me back to center.

Liturgical Year - this one especially intrigues me, though I should know more than I do given that I've attended a Presbyterian church for almost my entire life. As I seek to raise our children to live within the love of God that I so desire, being aware of the seasons of faith would be an excellent start.

3. Consider this: your life is improved and enriched by the fact that some people are practicing dimensions of the spiritual life that you don't practice, and their lives are enriched by your practices. For example, what benefit do you derive from people who are more dedicated to the Sabbath than you are? How might this be true of other practices?

Personally, I find it challenging when others are more dedicated to Sabbath than I am. Honestly, it wouldn't take much to be more dedicate, but seriously it is an accountability and reality check. How do I stop and rest and find focus on love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control? It is motivating, no matter how small.

As for other practices, most of them I've never even considered, so they would help me on this stage of my journey.

4. Imagine the world in one thousand years, in the thirty-first century, following two scenarios: one in which the seven ancient spiritual practices have been forgotten for a thousand years, and one in which they have been revitalized and followed.

This is difficult for me because for my own 34 or so years, not many of the seven were even in my stream of consciousness. I can imagine more that they will have been forgotten than revitalized, but I have this twinge of hope for a revitalization. Yet at the same time that scares me because even know most times those who practice these seven faithfully are portrayed as fanatics, extremists, fundamentalists, on the fringe. It's unfair, and I have my own stereotypes I'm thinking about within the Jewish and Islamic faiths, as well. That saddens me. These ancient practices should do the opposite - make us more open, more peaceful, more loving.

5. Reflect on your previous four answers. Let each reflection turn into a prayer that you write or speak aloud.

God, make me more open, more peaceful, more loving through my learning and applying these ancient practices to my life journey. Give me wisdom, strength, and humility to love others through them, and find your peace to share.

Spiritual Exercises from Chapter 2: "Why Spiritual Practices Matter" from Finding Our Way Again by Brian McLaren.

Character
1. Think about who you were yesterday in terms of character, compared to who you are today. How would you fill in these blanks: "Today I'm more _____ and less ____ than yesterday"? Do the same regarding a year ago and ten years ago.

Today I am more humble, open to new ideas, and cautiously optimistic than I was yesterday. Yesterday (Tuesday) I was suffering from a migraine registering 9 out of 10 on the pain scale. I was deflated by yet another migraine (been averaging 10-15 per month), and just trying to get through the day without negatively impacting my family. Today I was returning to a chiropractor for his evaluation of my case to see if I could find an alternative process to gain relief for these migraines. The humility was genuine in that I knew I needed to submit to another form of treatment and expertise, checking any preconceived ideas at the door, yet I was cautiously optimistic that anything but the extreme medicinal measures I'm scheduled for in May would help.

Extending that beyond my condition, I was feeling more organized, more aware today than yesterday - organized to me more productive with my time at work, more aware of the expectations on me at home, and trying to be all in.

Last Year: It's difficult to think about where I was last year. At work, we would have been wrapping up a commitment to join a major project, so I was certainly trying to picture what the immediate and near-term future would hold for me and my family staying in Bethlehem. We had been struggling for the past few years about where we should live, or if we should move, and there was some clarity forming even though it wasn't as solid as we would like. I think that from a character point of view, I was trying to portray confidence despite the feelings of inadequacy I had inside, and trying to continue to invest in our excellent small group.

Ten Years Ago: I would have been 24 and inside of 3 months before our wedding day. I was treading water in my relatively new job, wondering if I had made the right decision. I was not nervous about our wedding, but definitely trying to learn and experience more depth in my relationship with Andrea. I am certainly more secure in who I am today than I was ten years ago. I am more aware of my strengths and definitely more aware of my weaknesses. I am much less naive, but also more jaded and skeptical when it comes to Christianity.

2. What will your character be like in ten years, given your current trajectory.
I'm expecting that I will be more accepting of others than I've ever been. I expect that I'll be a strong leader in my career, having had many more learning experiences of success and failure. I expect I will be more decisive than I am now, and I will gather opinions from others in ways that do not show an over-dependence on them. I expect that I will be find that my journey of faith has found more freedoms, and I hope that my wife and children will experience this similarly.

Aliveness
1. Are you awake? What have you missed - in terms of sights, sounds, feelings, smells, and so on - in the last five minutes?
I've been sitting here for the last five minutes. I hear quiet from those sleeping down the hall. I hear a faint coming and going of cars on a nearby road. I feel somewhat restless and my attention sways in and out of this writing.

In the last twenty-four hours? I have missed some of the joyful sights and sounds of my children last evening as I walked carefully around the yard during my migraine. I avoided sights that would hurt my eyes, and smells that would make me nauseous. During today, I missed a lot of things as I went from task to task and meeting to meeting.

2. Rate yourself on a scale of one to one hundred on how alive you feel at the present moment. About 50. I definitely don't feel as exuberant as I would like, but not nearly down and out.
When is the last time you felt below 30 and above 90? I think on my birthday I felt around 30. That's very sad, but I felt high enough around 30 because my family had done very special things for me. Without them, I would have been near 0 while I suffered with a migraine that really should have been treated at the ER. The last time I felt above 90 is harder to remember. It clearly has been longer than necessary.

3. What are advantages of sleepwalking through life? What are advantages of being alive and awake while your life happens? The only advantage I can think of for sleepwalking is that lows aren't as low and the highs aren't too high that the middle is too disappointing for you later. Being alive and awake means that true joy can be experience right then and there, often shared with those I love the most. Also that I can appreciate true beauty, art, creativity, and spirit as they happen, along with a balance that springs more life.

Experiencing God
1. If your relationship with God was a marriage, how would you describe things to a marriage counselor? What would a better, happier marriage look like? My friend, Susan Isaacs, already wrote this book... :) But my story is different, I know. I would probably say things like I still feel so distant from God, and I'm probably getting too comfortable with that distant feeling. I long for the emotional, spiritual refreshment that I used to have in an authentically-driven worshipful environment. I'd say that I long to know his love instead of the idea that he is so huge and "out there". And that he'd be more like Jesus within the community of people around me.

Hmmm... I don't think I expected that to come out that way...

My online friend, and author of Evolving in Monkey Town, Rachel Held Evans, posed this question on Facebook on Saturday:

Lots of folks are talking about the future of young, disenfranchised evangelicals. I'd love your thoughts on this. What is driving them away? Where are they going? (Working on a post that explains the phenomenon from my own perspective - as a young, disenfranchised evangelical myself!) :-)

Below is what I responded. How would you respond?

I definitely feel disenfranchised by church, and I struggle daily with how I fit in. A large percentage of m...y church (75% ?) is enthralled with our Sr. pastor's sermons, and for them that's all they need. It's not nearly enough for me. I really enjoy and am challenged often by his sermons, but that won't sustain my faith or journey alone.

To be frank, I generally continue attending my church for one reason: so my kids have a peer network within the faith. I don't mind one bit their Sunday School lessons are more "fluff" than substance. All the better so I can share with them the real biblical stories at home when I can try to answer as many questions as they will have about why God seems so mean to everyone else by the Israelites...

I, on the other hand, don't find that peer connection on a Sunday morning, likely for the first statement I made about the preaching being all most people think they need. I don't find others, on Sunday mornings, looking for the same things I am: dialogue not monologue, discussion not answers, intentionally community not informal chatter.

So where are we going? Honestly, I don't think we are going very far at all, if anywhere. Most of us, I think, are trying to make do with the best we can. We are keeping quiet instead of speaking up, attending passively instead of volunteering for leadership positions. The hierarchical tradition of our church is killing our passion, and the intra-denominational battles over survival and control are killing our trust. Worship wars are burning us out. If worship doesn't turn into a pep rally for God (like a republican victory cry), it feels like a forced set of songs simply to apply the theme of the sermon as a not-so-subtle undertow.

If I was able to plan out a new model of church community, it would be this:

Weekly 60-75 minute worship-only gathering - a pure, straightforward emotional and spiritual connection with God. That vertically focused refresh that we all need. All types of music welcome, liturgy welcome, scripture reading welcome. But no sermons.

Weekly small group gathering - over a meal, focused on sharing each other's life-burdens, loving each other as we are. There is no need or expectation to be the biblical historian, the doctrinal challenger, or the context interpreter. Simply come as you are and live among each other. Discuss what's on your heart, open up to others about the faith challenges you experienced, pray for each other about the hurdles that lie before you.

Regular (probably monthly) larger gathering of small groups and worshipers over a large feast that allows the small groups to share with each other their experiences, connects the larger community together, and gives everyone a chance to be spiritual fed by a pastor. Here the sermon becomes dialogue and discussions at the tables, and small groups share how they've seen these faith themes existing in their life stories, or how applicable that is to a challenge they've been praying about.

For now, I sometimes go to a megachurch worship service and just be anonymous for that 75 minute worship refresh. They do worship excellently and without distraction, and I can merely focus on God, my relationship with him, and pour out my burdens to him. I love my small group, and we do work very similar to how I described above. But the third piece is still lacking.

As part of the BookSneeze.com blogger reviewer program of Thomas Nelson publishing, I requested the book "Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices" by Brian McLaren. Because I received the book in time, I decided to commit to reading this for Lent, a practice that I haven't really followed before. I also committed to taking two hours a week to play piano and write some music, hoping to re-create a creative discipline I've lost the past few years.

The end of each chapter of "Finding Our Way Again" has spiritual exercises. I am hoping to use write a post for each chapter. Here goes nothing...

1. Using the matrix below, plot your life in five-year increments. For example, when you were five years old, was your faith more a way of life or a system of belief, or was it low on both counts? How about fifteen? Twenty-five? Where would you like it to be for a five year increment in the future?

2. Imagine yourself in the cold war between science and religion described in this chapter. Which side have you been on? Or have you been caught in the crossfire? Describe your experience and how this war has affected you or people close to you?

Early on in my faith, I was very much on the side of religion in the cold war. I naively rejected much of science, and, in fact, I would describe my early education in these areas more along the lines of blind faith rather than honest inquiry. During high school and college, I said the right things to avoid getting into discussion of religion vs. science, and it wasn't until a few years after college that I really began an honest inquiry into any battle line topics.

Lately, I think I'm more caught in the crossfire than anything. I willingly admit I know less about religions or science than I believed I did before, and I'm much more comfortable with that. I don't need to know or understand anything, I need to focus on living out faith outside of both religion and science.

3. Reflect on the ideas of a "fusion between the sacred and the secular" and "everyday sacredness." Describe your experiences of this kind of fusion, and then describe your aspirations or hopes for it. What would it mean for you to learn how to live in this kind of fusion?

My experience with this fusion is lackluster at best. I've yet to really find this put forth in practice. There seems to be a pull to one side or the other, and in general I find a lack of openness of others to meet me in the middle. My aspiration is that I can indeed find community that desires to live in the middle, in an everyday sacredness that takes seriously the life of faith without taking the religion of faith too seriously. At the same time, embrace life, art, conflict, love in all areas of life, not just within a church, faith, or religious context.

4. Consider the three common religious alternatives described in this chapter: scientific secularism, "hot and pushy fundamentalism", and "warm, but mushy spirituality." Name strengths and weaknesses of each, and then imagine combining the strengths into a fourth alternative.

What I appreciate about scientific secularism is a process of testing and application. Fundamentalism, for the most part, shows courage to hold strong on a position, and spirituality embraces an individual journey. Merging these together seem like a good idea, but they don't always jive. Frankly I find it hard to find that fourth alternative, but probably because I haven't really seen it in action.

5. Looking over your answers above, write a prayer that expresses your hopes, desires, dreams, concerns, and decisions.

God, help me be open to be stretched and pulled in ways I've never experienced. Draw me to others who are on this similar journey, and give me the humility to respect and appreciate others who are not yet on this journey.

Are you living a great story with your life? from Donald Miller on Vimeo.

Get A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller.

I found an interesting blog post through comments from a post by Rachel Held Evans, and it reminded me of similar conversations that I’ve had with Amelia. I’m in the same boat as the author, in many respects, though at one point in my life I thought I had all the answers. But that was from my head-knowledge-filled experience of growing up in a indy-fundy baptist church where I believe now I had more guilt-laden convictions than life-seeking ones.

I want my children to know that knowing and loving God/Jesus is a journey, not a destination; the same as loving their brother or sister or as I love my wife. Yes, there’s a moment where you realize in your head what you’ve been doing already and that you don’t want to or can’t love others the same way, but it doesn’t stop there, get any easier, or become automatic. It’s still a process, still a journey, and will still be hard to do at times.

And I want to tell them that the times it stops being about love are the times that will be the roughest. These are the times, as a parent, that I become selfish and think about how their behavior is affecting me thus becoming angry. These are times for them that they want to push the other rather than share. These are the times for all of us that we’d rather say something harsh about a friend who wronged us or ignored us or was not aware about something we wanted them to be rather than dig deeper with them. These are the times when we are simply out for ourselves.

And then I want to show them that the times that are best and glorious and magical are the times we are in it together, for each other, sharing in love. When we literally or metaphorically hold hands; when we help our friends in needs; when we hug a family member who is sad; when we grieve together when one of us has lost; when we celebrate together when one or all of us has gained; when we bring someone else into journey with us.

Yesterday, Rachel Held Evans talked about a unique way of thinking about our faith-based worldview, particular as a patch-quilt maker focusing only on their own square, not the whole quilt. I tried to follow suit, and this is what I came up with:

* I care a lot about being in relationships with other people who aren't Christians
* I care about living and talking about my faith that is welcoming to others
* I care about giving freedom to those around me to be who they are, not a type of person they think I would want them to be
* I care about giving financially to the poorest in our world, even if that means not giving to my local church
* I care about my small group, living deeply together and building a strong community of support and openness.

I'm sure there are others, but this is where I started. Absent from this list is focus on family, but family is within the center of who I am. Without my wife and children, this worldview who crumble pretty quickly and be altered significantly. A bigger question for me is how this focus will change for me over time.

I read a book once or twice (and again now) by a really good author who told a story of a friend who wrote down every memory he had. I remember how that struck me as a really good and important thing to do. And then I forgot about it; or I just didn't do it; or both.

Then I went to an information session for a charter school A* and I are considering for Amelia, and during the presentation by the principal about the school's vision to produce leadership qualities in all of the students, I vividly remembered a significant experience during my elementary school years. I told myself that I should write it down, and better yet, it could be my first blog post to re-start this old thing. And then I forgot about it; or I just didn't do it; or both.

And then tonight A* and I watched The Social Network, and of course the movie is intertwined with memories and blogging, and despite my intense three-day long migraine that survived the stomach flu better than the rest of my body, my mind returned to this memory, and thus to urge to finally write it down.

I was either in 4th or 5th grade, and Fred was a grade below. We were both good soccer players for our youth Tri-City soccer league in western Pennsylvania. To say I was humble about how good I was would be an exaggeration. I was good, and I knew it. I used how good I was to use it as a subject for the essay portion of my entrance exam to Shady Side Academy. Somehow I still got in. I was usually on the worst teams in the league, but still managed to score 1 to N goals a game.* I probably had games where I didn't score, but I don't really remember NOT going to DQ after for a game performance award from my mom.

But one day during lunch recess, Fred and I thought it would be good for NKCA, our tiny Christian elementary school, to have a soccer team. Despite have recess in a gravel parking lot, and a tiny grass yard, we wrote out our proposal on a green steno pad detailing how we could coach NKCA's first soccer team. And we were quite specific: how we could coach the team, the days and times we were available, how we would utilize the small lot for drills, the equipment we needed (well, soccer balls and maybe a net), and the safety requirements every player needed for follow (shin guards and mouth guard, of course). We finished our multi-page proposal, and gave it to someone. It could have been our teacher (teachers often taught two grades during the same year) or maybe to the principal herself (Mrs. Hetrick). Regardless, I remember having a very long (for a 4th/5th grader) conversation in Mrs. Hetrick's office thanking us boys for such a wonderful idea, and how wonderful it was that we would like to share something we enjoy with the rest of the boys and girls. I don't remember how she let us know we couldn't do what we wanted, but I do know it was gentle, and I don't at all remember thinking or feeling it was because we were only 9 or 10 and thus couldn't really do this. No, I remember feeling that it was really a good idea, but it just wasn't possible for other reasons my inexperienced brain couldn't fathom. In short, it was just how an elementary school principal should discuss such an idea with aspiring young children, and that is it made me feel special and good.

This is a great memory, and a quarter century later I can feel great about it. It's just the kind of experience that I hope both of kids can have someday: have an idea they care so much about they write it down, share it to someone, and have that someone encourage them and their idea without crushing it through a dose of reality. In all honesty, it's what I hope I do everyday with them, though I know I fail more often than I'd like to admit. But more importantly, I want them to have this experience with someone outside of our family, like Mrs. Hetrick, because it will be that much more significant, and stick with them that much longer.

(photo credit: http://www.greenlightoffice.com)
* - wow, I really have been deep into systems engineering projects lately